Been a long time since I've written. Every time I decide to update seriously it's nothing good to say.But I'll give a head start with some updates about my life. I am now in Polytechnic pursuing business. So what happened to all that talk about going to junior college. Well, it's gone. The sudden change of my mind was due to my start of retail part time. It played a part in changing my decision and helped me to pursue the life which I hoped to lead. Of course, my decision didn't go all that well to realise, parents fight, arguments what else is new really, nothing. The tears that went flowing went to the drains of determination where I stand in polytechnic now. I started to doubt my decision from time to time, though. There were good times, of course, awful times were never less at the same time. When you subconsciously bring in your family conflicts into your social circles it made you feel like cutting off all your ties. From time to time, I would think of just walking out, barging through a red traffic light, getting knocked down by the car. How would that have felt, the impact the pain,  that travels through your body before you're gone from the world? Other times I would think of jumping down from the window of my room, with the witnesses of all my hearts' closest, wondering if I would be suffering less if I did. When you try to seek someone who would listen, you realised you don't have many friends who would. It's tiring. When your heart keeps you in, when you try to go out. I want to see the world, going everywhere looking at the beauties of scenery, cry and let tears be brought away by the flow of nature's rivers. If I could be not chained down by the dreams of life, would I have laid it upon a knife to end it? Would I regret doing so after I die? Would my soul still linger out of the feelings I have for this world? Do I even have any pleasant feelings for this disgusting world? I seek to grow older everytime and now. As I finish my dreams, I would lay my life on a knife, end it with dreams and not a bunch of grievances. Possibly jumping down from the sky without a parachute. Or bury me in the depths of snow, frozen to death, freezing my time. Time is a burden. Relationships are too. I am too. The world is. Chained down by the various pains. Chained down by me.

♪"There is nothing you should give up on, just because you lost your way" ~ Bang Yongguk♪